The trends is in our favour

Teens and Peer Pressure

Everyone talks about peer pressure on teens, but just how bad is it? Odds are, it’s not as bad as most parents think. Parents may lay awake at night worrying about what other kids will force their children to do. But "when we talk to young people, they tell us this vision of peer pressure is extremely rare," says Stephen Wallace, senior advisor for policy, research, and education of Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD).

Parents who want to dispel the myth that drugs and alcohol are an adolescent rite of passage can simply cite the facts. A long-term, national study of adolescents in grades 8, 10, and 12 shows that many typical teen behaviors are actually losing popularity.



While 71% of teens have tried alcohol by the end of high school, far fewer drink to get drunk.
In 2010, 27% of students said they got drunk in the past year. This is down from almost 40% in 1997.
In 2010, 34% of students had ever used drugs and only 27% had done so within the past year. Teens who had ever used drugs peaked at 43% in 1997.
Close to 31% of students reported having ever smoked a cigarette, compared to almost 54% in 1991.
Certain drugs get a bad rep as their risks become more widely known. When teens think their friends will look down on them for taking a drug, they’re much less likely to use it. Unfortunately, this does not apply to drug use overall. As some drugs fall out of favor, new ones hit the scene. And it often takes years for teens to understand their new dangers.

Teens rarely strong-arm each other into trying risky things. Instead, friends play a more subtle role in your child’s decisions. Teens are more likely to hang out with other teens who do the same things. For example, a study by researchers at Columbia University shows that kids are six times more likely to have had a drink if their friends often drink alcohol.

The good news? You can have a more powerful positive effect on your teen than you may think.



Teen Peer Pressure Often Comes From Within
Teens often feel internal pressure to do the things that they think their peers are doing. "Most kids wildly overestimate the prevalence of alcohol and drug use," says Wallace, who wrote the book, Reality Gap: Alcohol, Drugs, and Sex -- What Parents Don’t Know and Kids Aren’t Telling.

Take Time to Connect and Talk With Your Teen

Being a teenager is often a dance of push and pull. "Adolescents want to be independent and dependent at the same time," says Benjamin Siegel, MD, pediatrician and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ committee on the psychosocial aspects of child & family health. "On one hand, they want to assert their independence. On the other, they need their parents."

Your teen probably feels intense pressure to fit in. She may not know how to talk about it. She may not talk much at all. It may take extra effort to connect with her, but chances are she hopes you will. "The more we understand what kids are going through, the more empathic we can be towards them," says Siegel.

Be the 'Bad' Guy

Your rules and structure give your teen a framework for understanding the world, even if he protests. When Wallace asks teens what their parents could do to discourage drinking, the answers were surprisingly simple:

Talk to us. Teens say they want to know what their parents think and how they make decisions.
Punish us. Teens who break rules typically wait to see what happens. If there are no consequences, the rules don’t matter.
Limit overnight visits. Not having to go home can be too much freedom to handle.
Wait up for us. Knowing they have to face mom or dad, or both, in a few hours makes most teens think twice about the shape they’ll be in when they get home.

Encourage Your Teen’s Opinions

Raise your child to have opinions, even if they drive you mad, says Rachel Fleissner, MD, a member of the workgroup on consumer issues for the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. An opinionated child has practice speaking his own mind.

Fleissner tells the story of an opinionated young patient whose parents were fed up with his mouthing off. "The child is entitled to his opinion. That doesn’t mean things are always going to go his way," she says. "He needs to learn to think through how he arrived at his opinion and whether it’s worth arguing over."

Observe and Comment on Teen Peer Pressure

"Some children come under the influence of a close friend who constantly acts out," says Hedrick. If this sounds like your child, your challenge is to share your point of view without criticizing the friend. Lay your worries on the table in a matter-of-fact way. For example:

"You seem to break the rules every time Johnny comes over."
"I get calls from other parents when you and Johnny hang out."
Some situations call for dramatic action. Fleissner recalls a family who moved across state lines to remove their son from a destructive friend network. He didn’t like it at the time, but thanked his parents years later.

Help Teens Learn From Their Missteps

No matter what you say or do, your child may still mess up. As upset as you may be, your child probably is, too. Fleissner says parents should be ready to help their children take responsibility for their mistakes, and support them in moving on. This is an important time to help a child look at how he makes decisions. Siegel agrees. "Parents should ask questions that encourage self-reflection," he says.

Parents can’t anticipate every social challenge their children will face. Kids who know their parents love them, who value their own opinions, and have practice thinking critically, have a greater chance of saying "No thank you."


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The Bright Side

See The Bright Side Of Bad Situations

If asked, would you categorize all situations as good situations? Would you classify them all as bad situations? This could determine whether you look at the positive side or negative side of things. It could identify you as an optimist or a pessimist.

I hope you consider yourself an optimistic person, because getting into the habit of looking at the positive side of things could prove effective and advocate getting you out of trouble sometimes. Optimism is an underestimated, powerful handy tool that can be pulled out of your pocket whenever you feel vulnerable to a certain situation or perhaps feel like something uncomfortable or distressing happened or is happening. It is a master key needed to open a lot of life’s doors that cannot be opened otherwise.

Optimism can be such a game changer and can help make you more hopeful and confident about the future. This yields happiness, which yields a whole other array of benefits. We all know how important happiness and positivity are. They are such a blessing to have these two traits.

We need to face the fact that negative situations happen a lot in life. They are unavoidable, but we can find a way to confront these negative effects. So, how can we counteract these bad effects on our lives and attitudes? Positive thinking is filled with this power that can help us get through tragic instances. Learning how to stay positive in unpleasing situations is priceless and adds value to your lifestyle. It is your choice to be positive or negative when it comes to various situations.

With all this work, it is still difficult to resist negative thinking; it is easier said than done. Negative thoughts will get you pain and so we need to learn to ignore and find a solution. One more strategy we could do to avoid falling prey to negativity is to look for solutions for the root of the problem instead of thinking about the problem and what caused it.

Do not focus on the problem itself, because it will drain your energy and keep you from dreaming further and achieving. Make sure you think of the solution instead and that way your mind may be diverted to something more positive; the thought of coming out of the hole. Remember that a small negative thought could end up creating a large hole that is difficult to climb out of.

Here are some tips to help you see the bright side of bad situations:

Train Your Mind

Do you spend enough time training your brain to think positively, especially in situations that do not seem or look positive? Do you continue causing a bad impact on your mental health by constantly beating up yourself? We have all been there. Whether it is the tension and stress of work, bills, or disagreements, negativity is something present in life and is very hard to remove.

Training your mind is a very good exercise to do in order to better your life and see the positive side of bad situations. Stop beating yourself up and make sure you feed yourself with positive thoughts. Think of this. The more you are negative and exert that energy, the more this becomes part of you and the more the negativity grows within you. A very good analogy of this is a snowball. A snowball keeps on growing as it rolls down.

However, if you practice to utilize the strength of positive thoughts and implement it in your daily life whenever a negative thought comes to existence, it will benefit you big time. Eventually, this will be the default way of thinking and you will start to unconsciously think positively of all the situations you engage in.

Think of this as exercising, improving your health. We do this usually for our body, but have you ever tried exercising your brain? Instead of training your body start training your mind through doing some yoga, practice focusing as these all will help in developing your mind and helps you neutralize the effects of negative situations.

Accept Changes

Are we a believer of changes? Do you believe things can change in life? We usually have an idea or realize that there are changes happening in life but are resilient to them. Do you feel this way? We need to learn to accept our lives, the changes that will happen, and be convinced that there are changes that are going to happen.

Have you heard of the saying: “The only constant in life is change”? Accepting the changes we go through as part of our lives, whether good or bad is a key to advance. It is a key to see the positives and discard the negatives. It helps us accept our situations a bit more and be more comfortable when we embrace changes in our lives.

Let us say you are in a job that you do not really like. Would you go to your job every day with a good attitude or a bad one? You need to accept the situation and try to make it better, more interesting, and get something out of it. That does not mean that you do not look for a new job you are interested in, in the meantime. Once your brain is accustomed to thinking of situations in a positive fashion, even when a serious tragedy happens you will have the ability to deal with such scenarios in a good way.

Help Others

Are you the kind of person that likes to help others get out of their issues and situations or not? So you think this could help with your problems? Of course it could. Helping others out, whether friends or not, could actually take your attention away from your problems and negative situations and translate them into positivity and comfort. Helping others just provides this sense of achievement and fullness that you cannot get otherwise.

This could be as simple as giving someone a piece of advice he needs. This advice could help this person be less stressed, try new things, or help him with something more radical as saving him from a tragic aftermath.

Remember That No One Is Perfect

Do you not agree that there is no one that is perfect? Life is just a perception, but is not real. Do you live and fill your time thinking of your mistakes, why you got into them, and the effect they had on your day or week?

Stop dwelling on these thoughts, because whether we like it or not, nothing is perfect. We can try to make ourselves that, but life will prove to us that nothing is perfect through the different situations. If life was perfect, we would have not had any bad situations and would always be succeeding.

However, this would not allow us to learn from our mistakes and life’s cycle would not work. Remember that we need to learn from our mistakes and move forward rather than getting caught up in the mistake.

Be Grateful

How many of us actually take the time off to think of all what we have and be grateful for that? How many of us think of the blessings we have rather than think of things we do not have? When it comes to materialistic life, look at people who are less fortunate instead of looking at those with more money, faster cars, and that seem wealthy.

Believe that there is no better thing than to realize your blessings. The remind you to be humble and down to earth, and not whine about any of the simple things. This could be a good way to see the positive side of bad situations.

Not focusing on the bad part of a condition definitely pays off. Honestly, nowadays we just complain about anything. Let us say we are going to work. We complain that “Oh no, I do not have a car”. Well, a car can definitely make commute easier, but think of less fortunate people. Think of someone who does not have a job; a homeless person, a disabled person, or an unemployed person. Are you not in a much better situation and have a fixed income? Yes, it might not be the best income ever, but it sure is still an income.

We need to really learn that we are truly blessed, no matter what our situation is. This is just the nature of humans, but it is saddening to see people whine about something and then once it is gone, they realize that it was indeed a blessing. Stay positive and continue looking at the full half of the cup.

Learn From Negativity

Learning from negativity could help make you look at the alternative, namely – positivity. What I mean by this is learning from bad situations where you acted off, looked and focused on the negativity only. Consider the negative situation a chance or opportunity to grow personally. Identify the stimulants of this situation and make sure and watch out for them in the future. This along with some training could help you take control of situations in the future.

Just as we saw throughout this article, there are various ways to locate the positives and good things in bad situations. If you fall in the hole once, make sure you learn not to come close to the hole again, risking that you fall in again. It is the same thing here. Get away from the triggers of unpleasant scenarios.

Remember that we all have our good and bad moments in life and that you are not alone in this world. Seek help and implement whatever solution works for you best. Also stay optimistic, motivated, and positive. Do not let anything get to you.

Now it’s your turn… What helps you see the bright side of things?

Instilling True Gratitude

Teach our kids gratitude

Having two awesome boys myself I know that this topic is a tricky one. Especially when approaching those teenager (Know it all) stage. With Benjamin 14 and Juan-Pierre 12 I have the best of both worlds.

So how does one instill true gratitude in our teenagers today? ..... Be like, thanks for the games dad…..you are awesome! This is MOS gratitude not so?

If it is hard for us adults to remember to be grateful for their blessings, then it should come as no surprise that kids often end up acting unappreciative.  So, how does one go about teaching kids about gratitude? First and foremost, they need to see their parents and the adults around them modelling an attitude of gratitude!  I need to work on that thought. 

Thank You

Teaching our kids to say "thank you" is important, but truly instilling a sense of gratitude in them is another matter entirely. Gratitude goes beyond good manners -- it's a mindset and a lifestyle.

A recent Wall Street Journal article about raising kids with gratitude acknowledged a growing interest in the area of gratitude in the younger generation. The piece cited studies showing that kids who count their blessings reap concrete benefits, including greater life satisfaction and a better attitude about school. Sounds good, right?

What's the big deal about having an attitude of gratitude anyway?

First of all, gratitude is healthy for us. Believe it or not, gratitude benefits adults and kids alike on a very basic level. In fact, a study conducted by Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, reveals that cultivating gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25 percent. It can also cause individuals to live happier, more satisfied lives and enjoy increased levels of self-esteem, hope, empathy and optimism. Other studies have shown that kids who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and family.

Gratitude also grants perspective -- even in kids. When you take into account the sheer amount of opportunities, privileges and material possessions most kids enjoy through no effort of their own, it's easy to see why many of them feel entitled. After all, they get used to getting stuff without knowing or caring where it comes from. Practicing gratitude, on the other hand, underscores the fact that all those toys and lessons and creature comforts don't just pop out of thin air. When kids recognize that the things they own and the opportunities they have come from someone other than themselves, it helps them develop a healthy understanding of how interdependent we all are -- and they may be more inclined to treat others with genuine respect.

So how can we help our kids learn to live gratefully? Gratitude starts at home, and here are 11 tips to help you start growing an attitude of gratitude in your own household:

1. Name your blessings.

Have a moment of thanks each day when everyone shares something they're thankful for. Whether the list includes a favorite toy, a particularly good piano lesson or a birthday card from Nana, this daily tradition can help develop a positive frame of mind. Older kids might even prefer to keep a gratitude journal and write down a few things they were thankful for each day before going to bed.

Sometimes when my kids have been particularly blue or negative, I've had them send me a nightly email with three things they're grateful for. It's been a successful solution every time, and realizing the good in their lives results in a quick and significant shift of attitude.

2. Be a grateful parent.

What an invaluable exercise it is to tell our kids why we're grateful to have them! It goes without saying that we love our kids, and that we're thankful beyond words for their love, their smiles, their hugs and so much more. When we tell them what makes them special to us, their self-esteem is boosted for the right reasons (not because they have the latest smartphone or because they're dressed fashionably). Plus, our example shows them that gratitude extends well beyond material things.

3. Resist the urge to shower them with too much "stuff."

The old adage "all things in moderation" is a useful guideline here. Of course we to want to give our kids the best, and this isn't to suggest that we refuse to buy them anything but the bare essentials. But buying kids whatever they want, whenever they want, dilutes the gratitude impulse and it can mean that they don't learn to value or respect their possessions. They wind up having so much stuff, they don't appreciate each toy or game or device, as they keep setting their sights on what's shinier and newer.

4. Have 'em pitch in when they want something.

If your kids get an allowance or earn money at a job, have them participate in buying some of the things they want. When kids themselves take the time to save up, they have an ownership stake in the purchase and gain an understanding of the value of a dollar by working toward what they want. It also teaches restraint and encourages kids to appreciate what they have, as well as giving them a more realistic perspective on what you and others do for them.

5. Keep thank-you notes on hand.

Sadly, sending handwritten thank-you notes seems to be a dying art. But it's actually a perfect way to encourage kids to express gratitude -- and as an added bonus, it can make the recipient's day. Of course it's more than appropriate for kids to send notes when they receive gifts, but we can also encourage them to thank teachers at the end of the school year, Little League coaches, ballet teachers, kind pediatricians, helpful librarians, families who host them for overnights or parties. There are loads of opportunities throughout the year for kids to recognize and thank those who have done something special for them, and it's a habit that if they start young, they'll naturally carry throughout life. It's important that kids compose and handwrite the notes themselves, and we as parents can set the example by making sure to write thank-you notes on a variety of occasions.

6. Set a good example by saying "thank you" sincerely and often.

The values our kids embrace as they get older aren't those we nag them into learning, but the ones they see us living out. There are countless opportunities every day for us to model gratitude for our kids -- for example, thanking the waitress who serves your food, the cashier who rings you up at the grocery store, the teller at the bank who cashes your check. When our kids see us expressing sincere thanks all the time, they'll be more inclined to do so as well.

7. Link gratitude to your Higher Power.

Most religious traditions emphasize the practice of gratitude through acknowledging blessings and through serving others. Attending regular religious services is one way for kids to gain a sense of gratitude as part of a community. Even those who aren't part of a formal worship community can offer prayers personally at appropriate times. Spirituality and gratitude go hand in hand.

8. Encourage them to give back.

The old saying "it's better to give than to receive" has stuck around for a reason. It really does feel great to help someone else out. Depending on their ages, kids can rake leaves for an elderly neighbor, say, or volunteer at a nursing home a few hours a week. You might even make service a family activity. When kids give their time and energy to help others, they're less likely to take things like health, home and family for granted.

9. Insist on politeness and respect all around.

When we teach our children to treat others with dignity and respect, they'll be more likely to appreciate the ways in which those folks contribute to and improve their lives. By the same token, they'll be less likely to take assistance and kindness for granted, and more likely to give it the value it deserves. It's crucial for us as parents to model for our children the importance of treating all people with respect. Sometimes we put more emphasis on showing respect for bosses, spiritual leaders and other high-profile people, while forgetting to extend the same courtesy to others. We need to model for our kids the importance of treating everyone with respect.

10. Look for teachable moments.

Sure, we all take the opportunity to have periodic conversations about values with our children -- but the key is to keep our eyes open for situations that eloquently illustrate our point. We need to seize those moments and be prepared to use them as the powerful teaching aids that they are. When kids can connect the concept of gratitude to a real-life situation, the lesson we're teaching will be much more likely to stick.

11. Find the silver lining.

It's human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time -- and children are no exception. When kids complain or gripe, it can be helpful to try to find a response that looks on the bright(er) side. It's called an "attitude of gratitude" for a reason -- it's about perspective more than circumstance. Sometimes it's tempting to wallow lingeringly in self-pity. But as parents we need to remember that it's more productive to teach our kids to be resilient and refocus them on the positives they may be overlooking.

Gratitude is one of the greatest gifts

Perhaps our practice of gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.  We start to see all that is alive and breathing in our world, all of the collective energy and wisdom we are a part of. 

Whether we are grateful for our breath or another day, or whether we are grateful for a vacation or a yoga class, it is all important.  We notice our life, and all of the details, and allow that noticing to sink into our lived experience.

If we can start this practice and conversation early, with our children, we take advantage of their young, resilient minds.  Gratitude becomes something we share with them, deepening our understanding of them, and deepening our connection to them.  More than that, we can encourage skills that will last them a lifetime, enhancing their own sense of wellness in this world.

Instilling True Gratitude

Teach our kids gratitude

Having two awesome boys myself I know that this topic is a tricky one. Especially when approaching those teenager (Know it all) stage. With Benjamin 14 and Juan-Pierre 12 I have the best of both worlds.

So how does one instill true gratitude in our teenagers today? ..... Be like, thanks for the games dad…..you are awesome! This is MOS gratitude not so?

If it is hard for us adults to remember to be grateful for their blessings, then it should come as no surprise that kids often end up acting unappreciative.  So, how does one go about teaching kids about gratitude? First and foremost, they need to see their parents and the adults around them modelling an attitude of gratitude!  I need to work on that thought. 

Thank You

Teaching our kids to say "thank you" is important, but truly instilling a sense of gratitude in them is another matter entirely. Gratitude goes beyond good manners -- it's a mindset and a lifestyle.

A recent Wall Street Journal article about raising kids with gratitude acknowledged a growing interest in the area of gratitude in the younger generation. The piece cited studies showing that kids who count their blessings reap concrete benefits, including greater life satisfaction and a better attitude about school. Sounds good, right?

What's the big deal about having an attitude of gratitude anyway?

First of all, gratitude is healthy for us. Believe it or not, gratitude benefits adults and kids alike on a very basic level. In fact, a study conducted by Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, reveals that cultivating gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25 percent. It can also cause individuals to live happier, more satisfied lives and enjoy increased levels of self-esteem, hope, empathy and optimism. Other studies have shown that kids who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and family.

Gratitude also grants perspective -- even in kids. When you take into account the sheer amount of opportunities, privileges and material possessions most kids enjoy through no effort of their own, it's easy to see why many of them feel entitled. After all, they get used to getting stuff without knowing or caring where it comes from. Practicing gratitude, on the other hand, underscores the fact that all those toys and lessons and creature comforts don't just pop out of thin air. When kids recognize that the things they own and the opportunities they have come from someone other than themselves, it helps them develop a healthy understanding of how interdependent we all are -- and they may be more inclined to treat others with genuine respect.

So how can we help our kids learn to live gratefully? Gratitude starts at home, and here are 11 tips to help you start growing an attitude of gratitude in your own household:

1. Name your blessings.

Have a moment of thanks each day when everyone shares something they're thankful for. Whether the list includes a favorite toy, a particularly good piano lesson or a birthday card from Nana, this daily tradition can help develop a positive frame of mind. Older kids might even prefer to keep a gratitude journal and write down a few things they were thankful for each day before going to bed.

Sometimes when my kids have been particularly blue or negative, I've had them send me a nightly email with three things they're grateful for. It's been a successful solution every time, and realizing the good in their lives results in a quick and significant shift of attitude.

2. Be a grateful parent.

What an invaluable exercise it is to tell our kids why we're grateful to have them! It goes without saying that we love our kids, and that we're thankful beyond words for their love, their smiles, their hugs and so much more. When we tell them what makes them special to us, their self-esteem is boosted for the right reasons (not because they have the latest smartphone or because they're dressed fashionably). Plus, our example shows them that gratitude extends well beyond material things.

3. Resist the urge to shower them with too much "stuff."

The old adage "all things in moderation" is a useful guideline here. Of course we to want to give our kids the best, and this isn't to suggest that we refuse to buy them anything but the bare essentials. But buying kids whatever they want, whenever they want, dilutes the gratitude impulse and it can mean that they don't learn to value or respect their possessions. They wind up having so much stuff, they don't appreciate each toy or game or device, as they keep setting their sights on what's shinier and newer.

4. Have 'em pitch in when they want something.

If your kids get an allowance or earn money at a job, have them participate in buying some of the things they want. When kids themselves take the time to save up, they have an ownership stake in the purchase and gain an understanding of the value of a dollar by working toward what they want. It also teaches restraint and encourages kids to appreciate what they have, as well as giving them a more realistic perspective on what you and others do for them.

5. Keep thank-you notes on hand.

Sadly, sending handwritten thank-you notes seems to be a dying art. But it's actually a perfect way to encourage kids to express gratitude -- and as an added bonus, it can make the recipient's day. Of course it's more than appropriate for kids to send notes when they receive gifts, but we can also encourage them to thank teachers at the end of the school year, Little League coaches, ballet teachers, kind pediatricians, helpful librarians, families who host them for overnights or parties. There are loads of opportunities throughout the year for kids to recognize and thank those who have done something special for them, and it's a habit that if they start young, they'll naturally carry throughout life. It's important that kids compose and handwrite the notes themselves, and we as parents can set the example by making sure to write thank-you notes on a variety of occasions.

6. Set a good example by saying "thank you" sincerely and often.

The values our kids embrace as they get older aren't those we nag them into learning, but the ones they see us living out. There are countless opportunities every day for us to model gratitude for our kids -- for example, thanking the waitress who serves your food, the cashier who rings you up at the grocery store, the teller at the bank who cashes your check. When our kids see us expressing sincere thanks all the time, they'll be more inclined to do so as well.

7. Link gratitude to your Higher Power.

Most religious traditions emphasize the practice of gratitude through acknowledging blessings and through serving others. Attending regular religious services is one way for kids to gain a sense of gratitude as part of a community. Even those who aren't part of a formal worship community can offer prayers personally at appropriate times. Spirituality and gratitude go hand in hand.

8. Encourage them to give back.

The old saying "it's better to give than to receive" has stuck around for a reason. It really does feel great to help someone else out. Depending on their ages, kids can rake leaves for an elderly neighbor, say, or volunteer at a nursing home a few hours a week. You might even make service a family activity. When kids give their time and energy to help others, they're less likely to take things like health, home and family for granted.

9. Insist on politeness and respect all around.

When we teach our children to treat others with dignity and respect, they'll be more likely to appreciate the ways in which those folks contribute to and improve their lives. By the same token, they'll be less likely to take assistance and kindness for granted, and more likely to give it the value it deserves. It's crucial for us as parents to model for our children the importance of treating all people with respect. Sometimes we put more emphasis on showing respect for bosses, spiritual leaders and other high-profile people, while forgetting to extend the same courtesy to others. We need to model for our kids the importance of treating everyone with respect.

10. Look for teachable moments.

Sure, we all take the opportunity to have periodic conversations about values with our children -- but the key is to keep our eyes open for situations that eloquently illustrate our point. We need to seize those moments and be prepared to use them as the powerful teaching aids that they are. When kids can connect the concept of gratitude to a real-life situation, the lesson we're teaching will be much more likely to stick.

11. Find the silver lining.

It's human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time -- and children are no exception. When kids complain or gripe, it can be helpful to try to find a response that looks on the bright(er) side. It's called an "attitude of gratitude" for a reason -- it's about perspective more than circumstance. Sometimes it's tempting to wallow lingeringly in self-pity. But as parents we need to remember that it's more productive to teach our kids to be resilient and refocus them on the positives they may be overlooking.

Gratitude is one of the greatest gifts

Perhaps our practice of gratitude is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.  We start to see all that is alive and breathing in our world, all of the collective energy and wisdom we are a part of. 

Whether we are grateful for our breath or another day, or whether we are grateful for a vacation or a yoga class, it is all important.  We notice our life, and all of the details, and allow that noticing to sink into our lived experience.

If we can start this practice and conversation early, with our children, we take advantage of their young, resilient minds.  Gratitude becomes something we share with them, deepening our understanding of them, and deepening our connection to them.  More than that, we can encourage skills that will last them a lifetime, enhancing their own sense of wellness in this world.

Pierre Pressure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsVhMY30uBY

What Do Happy People Do Differently?

So let’s start up this Blog again! It’s been a while since I had time to get to my Blog, my apologies. Most traffic is over now, so let’s get back to reality. 

WHAT DO HAPPY PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY?

How do they become/stay so positive??

A positive mindset is essential for living a successful and happy life.

Most of us know all the right things to do but we just need to change our mindset. We can know exactly what we want to achieve on a conscious level but the negative messages and beliefs in our subconscious mind can result in self sabotage.

Happy people develop a belief in them self by creating a positive mindset. They understand that change is often a process and not giving up too soon is vital to succeed.

Now this is easier said than done, when life throws unexpected setbacks and frustrations our way! Often it can feel like being positive is a forced thing. Are we supposed to pretend everything is OK in order to trick our minds into thinking it is? Pretending to be happy and denying sadness when it occurs can be harmful (resulting in a lot of cramped and unsettled emotions).

There’s a better way to make a positive mindset your central frame of mind… the “baseline” to which you can return after life’s ups and downs take you for a roller coaster ride.

So what to do?

The old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Everything in life holds a lesson to be learned. Sometime these lessons are not immediately clear, but it is important to be proactive in looking for the lesson that is meant to unfold. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t get you anywhere, but making the best of even the most awful situations will propel you forward in a way that you may not even notice right away. 

This is what happy people do;

Visualisation – close your eyes and imagine you are watching a movie of an ideal day in your life going exactly as you would like it to be. Experience the positive and happy emotions in your body. See, hear and feel everything that is going on and capture that feeling.

Declaration: Each day when you wake up and throughout your day repeat your favorite declaration e.g. “I am becoming the fit, healthy and energetic person that I desire to be”

Adjust your thoughts: Be aware of the messages running through your head. As soon as you notice a negative thought, stop it and replace it with a positive thought.

Release your habit muscle: Decide on one encouraging habit and follow thorough until it becomes a natural part of your routine. Then pick another new habit to work on.

Attitude of appreciation: Start to list all of the things that you are grateful for each day. These can be both small things and significant events. This habit will train you to focus on the positive and all the things that are going right.

Reward yourself: Plan some rewards for following through on your action steps and achieving your goals. It’s important to have things to look forward to in life.

Believe that you deserve to have all of your dreams and wishes come true. Everything we think and everything we do is determined by our beliefs. Believe that you can achieve your goals – and you will!

Start right now – SMILE! Hold it… there, that’s better!

Conclusion

To summarize the above, we can say:

The definition of Happiness is:

"Happiness at any given moment is the feeling of satisfaction stemming from the present sum total value of your natural happiness and your behaviour, deeds or achievements in the recent past that can vary in intensity ranging from generic pleasure to strong joyfulness."

What is of most concern to most people, when they are not happy, is: “Why?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z4Kft47kBM

FAREWELL MADIBA

	FROM THE DESK OF SIPHO NKOSI FAREWELL MADIBA It is with great sadness that we have all learned that our beloved Madiba, former president, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, passed away last night. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and with all South Africans as we mourn the passing of this great statesman. We pray that the ideals that he strived for and the freedoms he won for the people of South Africa continue to be treasured long after this sad day.  He made such a difference to the lives of so many people…we were blessed to have him with us for so long. And we pray that he rests in peace after all the years that he devoted to the struggle for democracy in South Africa. He lived a remarkable life and has left behind a truly enormous heritage. My sorrow is lightened by the knowledge that he has left many lessons from his life that we can take with us into the future. For us as individuals, and perhaps as an organisation, one lesson I take from his life was that he was all about being pro-active. He didn’t wait for change to happen; he set out to make that change. Another lesson of his that is also close to my own heart is that of education and the development of young people. He said it best on many occasions: ·         “Young people must take it upon themselves to ensure that they receive the highest education possible so that they can represent us well in future as future leaders.” ·         “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ·         “Education is the great engine of personal development. It is through education that the daughter of a peasant can become a doctor, that the son of a mineworker can become the head of the mine, that a child of farm workers can become the president of a great nation. It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another.” ·         “Our children are the rock on which our future will be built, our greatest asset as a nation. They will be the leaders of our country, the creators of our national wealth, those who care for and protect our people.” We at Exxaro will continue his commitment to the youth through our focus on education and the development of young people through our Saturday Schools curricular assistance scheme, our bursary scheme, our learnerships programme, our PIT programme and continuing development. The day Madiba was released from prison was a day of new possibilities for South Africa.  Possibilities that culminated in the formation of Exxaro itself. In his memory, we must continue to focus our efforts on powering new possibilities for this company and this nation. Rest in peace Madiba. We realise that this is a sad moment and time for grieving and therefore wish to remind and advise that grievance counsellors are available for all employees through the Careways employee assistance programme.  You can reach them on 0800 004 770.

My Confession

The Truth Shall Set us Free

MY CONFESSION

It says that “the truth shall set you free”

I would like to use my blog to convey my confession in regards to the failure of my marriage.

Marriage; the formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.

What does it take to make a marriage fail?

Simple…….from my experience, it doesn’t take any effort; instead it’s owed to the lack of effort. 

Taking a few steps back and observing my own life, I recognise the lack of effort that was mending to be the glue keeping it as one.

We were married for 13 years, which the last 3 were the most unpleasant of all. We use to be that! Couple all were referring to as the honeymooners after 10 years of marriage. How does something so strong and stable fall apart so quickly? We use to be the best of friend, those that do not even have to speak to know that something was off beam; we were telepathy partners if you could call it that.  We went through bumpy times, from me sitting without work to the extent of working in an remote area in the middle of nowhere. From broke too wealthy and broke again. LMAO. So we have been from end to end and still we were the perfect couple. So??

The first question; what did my partner do wrong to allow the extend of digression? This forms part of the denial period………..I think.

Its only months later that one recognise all the mistakes made by oneself, and then the self blaming off course. It all depends on passion, perceptions and commitment focused on the correct areas. Dedication was there Oooo yes……only focused in the wrong directions.

The idea of this confession is to first recognise my mistakes and then to highlight them, I mean……after all we are just humans not programmed cyborg’s , we do make stupid decisions and do make mistakes throughout our existence.

My wrongdoings 

So where to start? Where did things start to deteriorate, It usually starts small and rocket to something hideous in due course. So what I am about to share is from my personal point of view and to the best of my memory. 

 ·   Sports:

For the first few years my wife and kids were everything to me, although I was more of the adrenalin junkie type, she filled that craving in some way, how I am not sure of. So where then the greater craving to extreme sports derived from is a good question.  My focus slightly shifted from being the perfect husband and friend to the seeker of something more heart thrashing. Instead of communicating in a proper way…….I decided to force my will onto my family no matter the consequences! Regardless of their needs, as long as I could get on the road and run.  I bed the word self-seeking is an understatement. So this lead to a more severe step;

·   Socialising:

The irregular drinking developed into more regular drinking and the want for socialism became a mania. The further the atmosphere grow to be agonizing (Due to my actions) the more the need to socialise, and the more single-minded I befall, not aware of the movements behind the curtains (My family crumbling as a result of my egoism)

·   Arrogance:

I think the word “REBEL” best describes my attitude throughout the last phase of my self-centredness.  No one could dare give me some advice on how to do what……..I know what was the best and the sad part is that I managed to believe the bullshit I fed myself. Pure human not so? We always know MOS the best. 

And the biggest mistake of them all;

·   Dialogue:

Yes I was that person that discuss my issues with people and through my actions placing others in a awful light. Discussing people and making them bad is not the solution, believe me. This caused severe consequences for I ended up feeling like a big ass. And the best is……..my intention was never to cause harm to any person.  

Eventually it ended up in a big bang and the decided was made.

There is always a price to pay……sooner or later.

I cannot justify my wrongs and there is no explanation for what I have done, also the punishment will appear with its own measurement.  There is a saying “one should never live with any regrets”, the only way this is achievable, is by learning from ones mistakes and unlimited self forgiveness.  

I have hurt countless people through my actions, and a number of them may be scarred for time without end.

Forgive me Father, for the harm I caused them

My desire is that those people could forgive me for the harm I caused them.

Lessons learned;

·   Always think before you act, If you can’t say something good about someone….rather say nothing.

·   Care for those you love.

·   Love is caring more about someone else’s happiness than your own.

·   Prosper in the wellbeing of others and endeavour to bring happiness to those who call for it. 

·   Whatever the circumstances, the counteraction derives from the inner you.

I do not judge myself as a bad person, maybe a bit 

misunderstood or astray. 

I forgive myself

Conclusion;

Make every effort to keep my positive outlook and to cause an addiction to those in lack of enthusiasm. Trust must be owned and once somebody loses trust in you, it takes a lot of effort to recover that trust.    

Sorry for breaking your trust

One day at a time, living it to the fullest for we are blessed beyond measure. Life does not come to a stillstand and therefore, life's too short to hold grudges............forgive, bury the hatchet and live in abundance. 

We all make mistakes, that makes us human, as long as you acknowledge it, ask forgiveness from the hart and learn from it. 

And most important......!

Yours in shame

Pierre Venter

PierrePressure Survey

2013/11/27

Please participate in this survey to assist the PierrePressure team to improve and achieve their objectives.

"https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2KPDND8"

MORAL OF THE STORY

Dad, there is Jesus

A father was reading his favourite magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. Trying to keep her daughter busy, he tore out one page on which was printed the map of the world. He then tore the page into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

Having done this, the father was now convinced he would read his magazine without any disturbance and also that it would take her daughter the whole day to get it done.But the little one came back within mnts with the perfect map.

*The curious and confused father asked her daughter how she could do it so quickly.*...

She giggled and said:“Oh…Dad, there is Jesus' face on the other side of the paper, I made His face perfect to get the map right.”

*Satisfied with her answer,she

ran outside to play leaving the

father surprised.*

‪#‎MORAL OF THE STORY: In life there is always the other side to whatever you experience.When ever we come across a challenge or puzzling situation, look at the other side, you will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem...#She giggled and said:“Oh…Dad, there is Jesus' face on the other side of the paper, I made His face perfect to get the map right.”

*Satisfied with her answer,she
ran outside to play leaving the
father surprised.*

‪#‎MORAL OF THE STORY: In life there is always the other side to whatever you experience.When ever we come across a challenge or puzzling situation, look at the other side, you will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem...#